What Are The Indicators My Husband Will Come Back?
If you are reluctantly separated, I suspect that you are always looking for signs, signals, or indications that your separated spouse might one day come back home or be open to a reconciliation. However, it’s normal to not want to get your hopes up. It’s also understandable to suspect that you are seeing encouraging signs simply because you want to.
Someone might say, “my husband and I have been separated for four long months. For most of that time, I have desperately wanted to get back together but my husband made it clear that this is not what he wanted. Eventually, I shut down and told myself to let go of my hopes for a while. However, for the last couple of weeks, my husband has acted slightly differently towards me. He is much more kind and attentive. I have to admit that he received a much-desired promotion at work. So I’m afraid that he’s just in a good mood because of this. I’m also afraid that he’s just being nice because he’s going to tell me that he wants a divorce. What are some indicators that your husband might be thinking about returning home?”
I will attempt to answer that question, but I have to be honest and tell you that I prefer to first give you indicators that your husband may want to reconcile. Coming back home is honestly the very last step in the process. I see many couples rush this step and some of them end up separating all over again or even divorcing. It is better to think in terms of reconciling first and coming home second. This is really a two-step process, but both steps are wonderful. Make sense? If so, let’s move onto signs that he may be open to reconciliation and eventually, to returning home.
He’s Showing An Interest In (And Empathy Toward) You: It’s very common to want to have a cordial relationship with your spouse when you separate. After all, you never know what the future holds. However, there is a big difference between exchanging pleasantries and him showing genuine and continued interest in your experiences and feelings. If he’s suddenly interested in reconciling, you might see him caring more about how you feel, what your day-to-day experiences are, and how he may fit into your life in the future. You may also notice him soften his stance toward you, especially if he was a bit distant before. Speaking of the future, this leads me to my next point.
Your Conversations Alude To A Continuing Relationship Or A Future: Your husband doesn’t necessarily need to be planning an upcoming joint dream vacation for him to be thinking about a future with you. Often, you will begin to notice him wanting to take care of your home, your finances, and the path that the two of you may take going forward. He may not come right out and tell you that he’s making plans because he intends to be in your back in your home within six months. But if you read between the lines, it’s not hard to notice that he’s much more involved in your life because he might envision a day when he will once again share it. In short, he’s much more eager to be involved in the things you share.
He’s Reaching Out To You For A Change: One very big tip that the tide had started to turn during my own separation is that my husband started reaching out to me. For a long time, I was the one who made all the phone calls. I was the one who attempted to make plans. If concessions or compromises were needed, I would be the one who stepped up to make them. When my husband opened himself to the idea of reconciliation, this dynamic finally changed. He was the one calling me and making the plans. And he was willing to compromise when necessary. It felt fantastic.
He Believes That You (And Your Marriage) Have Changed: Many husbands warm to the idea of reconciling or coming home when they finally see the changes or improvements they’ve been waiting for all along. Perhaps you’ve embarked on self-improvement or have learned to navigate your problems in a positive way. Maybe the two of you have greatly improved your communication and negotiating skills. Whatever improvements you’ve made, your husband may finally believe that these changes are real and will actually stick.
He Shows You (Rather Than Tells You) That He Cares: Separated husbands often say things that don’t match their actions. For example, they may tell you that they are taking the separation day-by-day, but then they keep you at a distance and shut you out. However, as your husband begins to open himself to the idea of reconciliation, this standoffishness will begin to abate. He may suddenly be considerate. He may be trying to impress you or is doing sweet, thoughtful things for you. Suddenly, he’s making quite an effort and his actions may finally match his words.
These are just rough guidelines. Every husband is different. Circumstances vary. But you often feel a true difference. Sure, you may think that this change is due to your imagination or wishful thinking, at least at first. But you should see (and feel) sustained, noticeable, and positive changes.
However, even if you are all but sure about his feelings toward you and you’re confident that he is open to reconciling, don’t push or rush. Enjoy this time of falling back in love. Move slowly. Enjoy regaining your footing and your confidence. Ease back into it. Doing so not only makes the pace sweet and reassuring, but it helps ensure that your reconciliation lasts. If you’d like to read about how the tide finally turned during my own separation, that story is here: http://isavedmymarriage.com
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