Leslie Cane Articles

by Leslie Cane: If you’ve found this article, I have to assume that one of two things have happened. Either your marriage does not feel as loving, committed, or secure as you would like it (and you feel your husband is distant or slipping away); or your husband has asked for a divorce, break, time apart, or separation. I can’t possibly know the specifics of your situation, but I do know that it’s possible to bring a husband back even if you are the only one interested. I know because I’ve done it. And although the severity of the situation and the people involved may be different, I believe the most effective method to bring back your husband is really the same. Sure, you may have to move more slowly and take more baby steps in some situations, but you can adjust as needed. This article will discuss the plan that worked for me and many others. I sincerely hope it works for you.

Understanding What Your Husband Really Wants To Bring Him Back To You: It’s very common to confuse the external issues or scramble a husband’s wants and needs once we’ve been married for a while. I know because I absolutely did this. The truth is, you probably are well aware of what it takes for your husband to be happy. Because you once made him so happy, in love, and committed that he married you. The qualities that you exhibited when you dated (as well as the actions you took then) were the formula that won your husband’s heart. So, this puts you at a great advantage. You already know exactly what you had to do (and need to do now) to make your husband happier.

Many people will counter me when I say this with something like, “Yes, but now we have kids and much more stress,” or “We’re not young and carefree anymore,” or “One of us made a huge mistake and we aren’t even speaking.”

I know that all of these things may be true, but the core of what your husband really wants has not changed because of these external things. If anything, your husband’s need for your affection and attention is probably even more great. I know that you are busy and I know it can seem unfair that it seems that you may be doing all the work, but bear with me. Because in the end, marriage is reciprocal and if you give your husband more of what he wants, then you will probably get a lot more of what you want as well.

Remember when you and your husband first fell in love? I’d be willing to bet that any issues are arguments ended quickly without any excess drama. Why? Because people in love generally don’t want to spoil it by allowing negative feelings to interfere. That’s why it’s important that you return to this place and reintroduce the two people who fell in love. How do you do this? You show your husband the best version of yourself, the one he first fell in love with.

Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself To Get Your Husband’s Attention (It’s Not Someone Else – It’s You!): I realize I’ve indicated that you should show your husband the qualities that drew him to you in the first place. Understand that I don’t mean you have to act or look like Paris Hilton. You should pay careful attention to your appearance, but I strongly believe that if you are honest and evaluate why your husband first fell in love with you, you’ll likely list qualities like: a sense of humor, an open heart, kind actions, a strong desire to pay attention to your partner’s happiness, etc. Once you can pinpoint the qualities that were most important to your husband, ask yourself how often he is seeing them now. If you can honestly say not enough, then you have work to do. 

However, use caution here. While I absolutely want you to display your best qualities regularly, I don’t want you to be a doormat, be too obvious about it, or try too hard. If your husband senses you’re not being honest or are doing something desperate or not genuine, he’s only going to block your efforts more and this behavior may make you appear unattractive or needy. So, what to do instead? Remember that your happiness leads to his happiness.

You Can’t Give Away What You Don’t Really Have: This may seem confusing, but hear me out. If you want to display a positive, attentive, interesting woman, you really don’t want to have to fake it and hold back your agony as you are doing this. You really want to genuinely be this happy person as she is the one who is going to attract what you want. So, how to get her back?

You have to do the things that make you happy. I’d be willing to bet that you’ve also been neglecting yourself and your own needs. So, you have to make a very deliberate effort to get out and do what makes you happy. See friends. Revisit hobbies. Do what you know is going to put a smile on your face. This may seem the opposite of what you are trying to do (as you feel that your husband, not you, needs your attention.) But I promise you that making yourself happy will bring you closer to your goal. Truthfully, you can’t radiate true happiness and openness to your husband if you aren’t genuinely feeling it. In your best-case scenario, you want the two of you to experience positive, loving feelings together. This isn’t possible if only one of you is getting their needs met. Take your own happiness into your own hands and I guarantee it will in turn give you more to give to your husband. And, I’m willing to bet that this new, fulfilled version of yourself will get the attention of your husband. This is ultimately what you want anyway. It’s really a win-win situation.